• Sybill L. Chen

Some Horse Rainbow Shit


Last night, I received a call from my mom asking what kind of furniture I would like for my room. Which did I prefer - elm, rosewood or satinwood? Did I like the grey curtain that she picked? My phone buzzed, she sent over a picture.

Was she upset? I couldn't tell.

We just moved back to Seattle in August, fresh off the boat. Last time I saw her, she was driving (my dad) around to pick the best house she could lay her eyes on, yet still her face was radiating with new-future (or furniture, no clue) euphoria. She was tired of Germany’s off-standish cynicism, and her uncompromising sense of justice didn't get her very far in Asia. Plus, education is important. My little bro has to get into an Ivy League, you see.

So here we came, America.

I was worried...of course I was. For the past few days I deliberately drowned myself with “Death in the Afternoon” - a cocktail normally made of absinthe, but now of greater bitterness, anger, and grief. I was sick of injustice, hatred, probably some misunderstanding, but most likely people’s ignorance. I was very, very worried.

So I asked her, eventually, “Hey, aren't you worried about Trump?”

She laughed at the other end: “I’d better off worrying about something that I have control over.”

And that was it. That was the point when I realized how naive and isolated we had all been. Have I not always known that there is constant bombing in Syria, draconian dictators in Brazil, rapist presidents, molester priests - and for Buddha’s sake, the majority of Chinese can’t even talk about how angry they are? Now it is America’s turn, and we suddenly start to panic: NO! It’s not okay to have a xenophobic, fear-mongering racist as our president?

Oh privilege. Let’s talk about privilege.

I understand that it might come across as apathetic - rejectionist even, but hear me out: my mom unfortunately (I mean it - this is a frustrating job) works as an international lawyer, and she has seen it all and has fought it all. Even though she came to America, in hopes of securing a less frustrating life, Fate again had proved her wrong. She merely got transferred to another battlefield. And she was probably disappointed, but not surprised: America, as we all now know , is no exception to the social atmosphere of racism, sexism, and mental slavery. Let’s get it real over the beacon of liberty, land of dreams; let’s just admit that America is probably not that great (and Canada too, for that matter), but we choose to fight nevertheless.

As long as there is greed and vanity, there is injustice. No land is the promise land, but everyone could promise to fight for his/her own justice. Now, let me elaborate: after the election everyone was “dumbfounded”, “surprised” and “incredulous”, and we all blamed the silent majority, but why were they silent in the first place? Do we - as the leftie champions - shut everyone else up, and when they disagree with us, we label them as “racist”, “sexist”, “militarist” and some ignorant “red-necks” - like what I just did? Most people agree that freedom should be the true path of civilization, but if we just dismiss their voice as irrelevant or too outrageous, what does it say about the freedom that we parade? What does it say about us?

I am the most left-leaning person you could possibly find: I just wish that I could eat 100% vegan and shit rainbows; however, I do believe that we didn't give the mild conservatives a chance to talk, and to walk us through their spiritual journey. Instead, we dusted dirts into the curtain and auto-replied “cut your racist shit” whenever they opened their mouths. What then would they choose to say in order to be heard? These problems were, and still are, inherently present in our world today. Telling people “it’s not okay to say this”, and “we’re not allowed to do that” will only alienate the hesitant and turn them into extremists: Who are you to tell me what to do, really?

And now we have Trump, the rotten fruit that you can smell from Kremlin.

I am by no means justifying any voter’s choice for Trump; actually, I hold a personal grudge against each one of you. You really made a horrifying decision not only for the United States of America alone, but for the whole world for the next seven generations (Think of the environment!). You just suck. But, Democrats have - and we all have - made a mistake: We shouldn't have just called you crazy for liking guns. At the end of the day, we are all people. I trust you will not kill me (actually you did), and I promise I wouldn’t endanger you with my gayness (I totally didn’t). Say the stuff that you need to say, but be prepared for the consequences. And let’s entertain the thought of creationist theory for a second, and say: Hey you do you. I think this is some horse-rainbow fertilization, but you do you.

Obviously it is not as simple as that, and obviously I’m joking around over things from which I can’t no longer see the humour (suddenly I sound very formal, don't I?). Everyone is talking about moving to Canada and friends around me - disgusted and dismayed - are relieved that they could stay in Montreal for the next couple of years. But I can’t dude, I just can’t.

Like what my mom said right before she hung up: “Now you are coming back to join the protest or what?”


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